My Man

I was recently encouraged to write a blog post about Jim.  Many people hear lots about me and what I do - and they wanted more about my better half.  The problem is, I am not sure that I can write in one post all that Jim is and does in our marriage, our family and our ministry.

How can I describe life in Africa?  Unpredictable?  Challenging?  A crazy adventure?  Amazing?  What kind of husband would be crazy enough to travel this path beside me?

As a young teen, I thought I knew just what I wanted in a man.  Now, of course, being a teen, I was probably a bit more focused than I should of been on how he would look.  I DID put in the requisite “I want him to love Jesus” but I promptly moved on to more shallow characteristics - such as the color of his hair and eyes, and other equally important issues like how tall he would be compared to me (very important for wedding photos, etc).

When I look back now, it AMAZES me how God brought me a man who was just what I needed - even when I had my focus on slightly more trivial things.  He brought me someone who brings out the best in me and who complements my strengths in life and ministry like no one else could.

So many things about Jim are just what I (and our kids) need…..  he makes me laugh, he listens to this verbal processing woman (picture lots and lots of words) even though he likes to take time and contemplate things quietly, he balances my desire to over-function for my kids and my friends in the village, he protects me, loves me, believes in me, prays for and with me….. 

Our kids have lots to be thankful for - left to my own, they would have likely been wrapped in bubble wrap, sitting in a chair for safety, as opposed to climbing on roofs, swinging HIGH in trees, shooting bows and arrows and guns, and riding motorcycles.

In Guinea, our balance of strengths and weaknesses are even more stark.  So here are some things that I LOVE about him when I think about him on the other side of the pond.

1.  The man can fix just about anything.  He would say not - but seriously, he amazes me.  He is willing to try just about anything.  He always says - I have no idea what to do here.  And more often or not, he solves the problem.  And this without a Lowes, Home Depot, or truck mechanic anywhere in site.

2.  Jim is flexible and rolls with so much of what life throws at us.  His “can-do, we will adapt” attitude far surpasses mine.  I get a little more stressed when life doesn’t go as I hope/expect/plan.  Typically, it takes me MUCH longer to stop, and change direction mentally.

3.  He values people and spending time with them.  Don’t get me wrong - I LOVE people.  But I am also a very schedule/time driven girl.  I love lists and crossing things off of them.  I want to pack as many tasks into my day as possible.  So many things about life in Africa rubs that part of me the wrong way.  African culture is ALL about community and taking time for people.  It is sitting for long periods of time - chatting or just being together.  It seriously makes me insane some days.  I like to visit - but after about 10 minutes, my mind is off and running to the things I need to do, so I can do the other things I need to do.  It can be almost painful to sit and “waste” time.  

Now I FULLY realize that spending time with people is not “wasting” time - but it takes constant reminding (to myself) that this is true.  Jim sits and has coffee with our friends for hours - covering many topics.  He attends funerals and naming ceremonies.  He goes to the markets, and sits at people’s huts with them - chatting and greeting the people passing by.  HIs love for people and willingness to cover that part of living in community in Africa make it possible for me to treat the sick people that God brings to the clinic.

4.  Jim not only takes time with people, but he helps me with my work.  He comes to the clinic and visits with my patients.  He helps me in emergencies - like burns and accidents and snake bites and scorpion stings.  When I am suturing a laceration, he is there encouraging me and grabbing me supplies.  Blood doesn’t bother him.  When our stun gun quit working, he hooked a wire up to a motorcycle and shocked a snake bite that way - at 1 am!

5.  He looks for new ways to do things - new techniques for farming, new seeds to introduce, new ways to use what we have.

Jim is loved in the village - by the young kids who see this big white guy who is willing to take the time to talk with them, to the women who are amazed when a man thanks them for the work they are doing, to the middle aged people who love when he goes to their farms to help harvest peanuts or pull weeds or cut rice, to the old village men who love it when he comes and sits with them and takes time to listen to them.

I am INCREDIBLY blessed to be married to this man.  This is a wild adventure that we are on and God knew just who would make the best life partner for me!  I love you babe!