Monday, December 30, 2013

Confession is Good for a Baby Delivery???



Yesterday was Christmas day and I was enjoying a day home with my family when I got called out to a baby delivery.  To be honest, I was a little fussy.  I have been working long hours at the clinic and was looking forward to a day at home with no schedule.  The girl in labor was from another village and showed up here for reasons that I am still unclear about.

This was her third baby and since she had been in labor for almost 24 hours, I assumed that it would go rather quickly.  I was frustrated to learn that she didn’t seem quite as interested in moving matters along.  Baby was coming – but slowly.  She did get up and walk when I told her too, so that helped.  She had come by motorcycle with her mother-in-law.  The village midwife, an older woman who wants to learn how to deliver babies, and I rounded out the crowd in the room.

This older woman has been at a few other deliveries, but usually in the background.  She began to talk to the laboring girl, and said, “If you have done anything against your husband, you had better confess – or this baby will not be born.”  Now, please understand that situations like this are very hard for me.  There is usually a lot of chatter and noise and I am working to make sure that I understand what is being said – and the meaning behind it.  Also, I am a guest here in the village, so I am always uncertain where my line is – when to speak up and when not to speak up.  

 I have heard many a “confession” during labor – everything from stealing oranges, to lying and cheating.  So I sat back and watched the process.  All three women urged her to confess.  So she started.  Apparently she had cheated on her husband with a man from a neighboring village (which would be hard to do in front of your mother-in-law, I would think).  She named the man.  We waited.  Then she confessed to sleeping with another man – also not her husband.  She named him.  Things were getting interesting.  The mother-in-law said that she forgave her (in her husband’s absence) and told the baby that it was okay to come out.

And we waited.  The laboring mom wanted to sleep.  I wanted her to get up and walk – as I wanted baby to come so I could get home to Jim and Hannah.  Finally the midwife and the mother-in-law got up and left, leaving the older woman there with me.  She explained that the problem was that the woman had committed adultery while she was pregnant – otherwise it would have been okay……  REALLY?   Yes, she explained, that was just how it was.  African woman can sleep around – but NOT during pregnancy.  White women, she explained, only wanted one husband.  But Africans were not like that.  She also explained that God was okay with the sleeping around…..  I said that I was FAIRLY certain that was not true.

As we waited, the mom got more and more uncomfortable, which made me happy, because I knew the contractions were getting stronger and closer together.  Baby was getting close and I could see the top of its head.  Just then, the midwife and mother-in-law showed up and said that they had been to see an old woman in town (likely a witch or teller of some sort) and that she said that the woman was not yet done confessing and that was why the baby was not here. 

 I mentioned that the baby was NEARLY out, but they badgered the laboring woman again, asking her to confess more.  She confessed to sleeping with 2 other men, bringing her total up to 4 men, plus her husband.  As she was confessing, her contractions got stronger and finally baby was delivered. 

The women all said, “See, you confessed and the baby was born.  We told you.”  I said I was sure it would have come anyway, but no one was listening to me.  We washed up the baby and sent them home on a motorcycle.  The whole scene kept playing back in my head.  I felt sad for the mom, who likely has STD’s from sleeping around, and I felt sad that people think that adultery is ok.  

 Other people I talked to said that God is NOT okay with adultery, so that gave me hope.  But the many people who we treated last week in the clinic for STD/s make me feel like there is still much work to do!