Some days, it seems we live in the middle of nowhere. We are located in a somewhat remote African village where, as my kids are fond of saying, we are not at the edge of the world, but you can see it from here. We keep in touch with our friends and family by the use of a satellite modem – which is wonderful, but expensive. There are days it is easy to forget that there is a whole world out there and it seems like we could not be more removed from everything that once seemed normal to us. People’s way of life is hard and it is a constant struggle to live. At first glance, our lives could not be more different. Often, though, I see glimpses that make me realize that some things are the same the world over.
I had one such an experience a few weeks ago. I went to visit my friend Isatu. She had recently had a baby and I wanted to pop in and check on how they were doing. I sat in her bedroom with her and we chatted. There were lots of kids outside, playing and making noise. Our conversation headed in a direction that made me remember - I am NOT in America anymore. I won’t go into great detail, for fear there may be young ears listening, but the general gist of the conversation was marital relationships and the lack there of during pregnancy and the 2 -3 years following birth that it takes wean a baby from breastfeeding. (Thus partially explaining why some men have more than one wife!) But I was jolted back to reality by what happened next.
The noise of the kids in the hall and outside got louder. The kids were fighting. I don’t totally understand what the fight was about - I was focused on our conversion. But Isatu’s mom ears were tuned in. She started yelling into the hallway – Who is fighting? Come in here. You guys need to stop fighting or I will send so and so home. Go play nicely. It got quiet for a few minutes and we continued talking. Then the noise escalated again. That was it. She called them all in – That is enough! I told you to play nicely and all you are doing is fighting. If you can’t get along, then you aren’t going to play together. Sana, give me that ball. Your friends have to go home now since you can’t get along. Everyone, go home. You can come back and play when you are ready to play and not fight.
It totally cracked me up, because I believe that I had that exact conversation many times when my kids were younger. And probably moms all over the world were having that exact conversation at that exact moment. It reminded me that most moms are the same and want the same things for their kids. We may have different education levels and different expectations from life, but we all want our kids to be happy and healthy, and for ourselves, we would love a little peace and quiet occasionally. :^)
I also had to smile the following week while I visited her again. The 2 younger boys were going to go out to the farm to see their dad. Isatu insisted that Sana (3 years), the youngest, put a shirt and shoes on first, so she sent Sori (6 years) in the house to get a shirt for Sana. Unfortunately, he chose a button up shirt and he was having great difficulty getting the shirt on Sana, mostly because he started with the shirt inside out. Finally, Isatu had to take over. She got him dressed and instructed him to get his shoes on and off they went. And I realized that not only are moms the same, but so are little kids!
It is great for me to have those moments, because it makes me have more compassion when I get frustrated with the direction people take with the health of their kids or the choices they sometimes make. In many ways, we are the same!
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