Yesterday was Christmas day and I was enjoying a day home
with my family when I got called out to a baby delivery. To be honest, I was a little fussy. I have been working long hours at the clinic
and was looking forward to a day at home with no schedule. The girl in labor was from another village
and showed up here for reasons that I am still unclear about.
This was her third baby and since she had been in labor for
almost 24 hours, I assumed that it would go rather quickly. I was frustrated to learn that she didn’t
seem quite as interested in moving matters along. Baby was coming – but slowly. She did get up and walk when I told her too,
so that helped. She had come by
motorcycle with her mother-in-law. The
village midwife, an older woman who wants to learn how to deliver babies, and I
rounded out the crowd in the room.
This older woman has been at a few other deliveries, but
usually in the background. She began to
talk to the laboring girl, and said, “If you have done anything against your
husband, you had better confess – or this baby will not be born.” Now, please understand that situations like
this are very hard for me. There is
usually a lot of chatter and noise and I am working to make sure that I
understand what is being said – and the meaning behind it. Also, I am a guest here in the village, so I
am always uncertain where my line is – when to speak up and when not to speak
up.
I have heard many a “confession”
during labor – everything from stealing oranges, to lying and cheating. So I sat back and watched the process. All three women urged her to confess. So she started. Apparently she had cheated on her husband
with a man from a neighboring village (which would be hard to do in front of
your mother-in-law, I would think). She
named the man. We waited. Then she confessed to sleeping with another
man – also not her husband. She named
him. Things were getting
interesting. The mother-in-law said that
she forgave her (in her husband’s absence) and told the baby that it was okay
to come out.
And we waited. The
laboring mom wanted to sleep. I wanted
her to get up and walk – as I wanted baby to come so I could get home to Jim
and Hannah. Finally the midwife and the
mother-in-law got up and left, leaving the older woman there with me. She explained that the problem was that the
woman had committed adultery while she was pregnant – otherwise it would have
been okay…… REALLY? Yes, she explained, that was just how it
was. African woman can sleep around –
but NOT during pregnancy. White women,
she explained, only wanted one husband.
But Africans were not like that.
She also explained that God was okay with the sleeping around….. I said that I was FAIRLY certain that was not
true.
As we waited, the mom got more and more uncomfortable, which
made me happy, because I knew the contractions were getting stronger and closer
together. Baby was getting close and I
could see the top of its head. Just
then, the midwife and mother-in-law showed up and said that they had been to
see an old woman in town (likely a witch or teller of some sort) and that she
said that the woman was not yet done confessing and that was why the baby was
not here.
I mentioned that the baby was
NEARLY out, but they badgered the laboring woman again, asking her to confess
more. She confessed to sleeping with 2
other men, bringing her total up to 4 men, plus her husband. As she was confessing, her contractions got
stronger and finally baby was delivered.
The women all said, “See, you
confessed and the baby was born. We told
you.” I said I was sure it would have
come anyway, but no one was listening to me.
We washed up the baby and sent them home on a motorcycle. The whole scene kept playing back in my
head. I felt sad for the mom, who likely
has STD’s from sleeping around, and I felt sad that people think that adultery
is ok.
